How It Started vs. How It’s Going: 500 Days in Prague

by mikebev25

Friday, November 6 marks 500 days since I first stepped on that airplane and left the US for the first time. Wait, it marks 500 days since I first stepped on any airplane. Anyway, time flies, and I’ve sure learned a lot. So much, in fact, that I wanted to share this piece with you. I was going to do 500 things, but that’s quite a lot, so let’s just go for as many as we can.

That being said, I decided to pick 85. Why 85? I recently did a Sporcle quiz (if you don’t know what Sporcle is, check it out) that was 40 facts about the Czech Republic. I scored 85 percent.

I mean, 500 things would have been nice, but 85 things took about 2500 words. My estimate is that 500 would have needed over 15,000 words. Unless they add a bunch of hours to the day (let’s be honest, it is 2020, so if that ever happened, this would be the year), I don’t have that kind of time. And you probably don’t have that kind of time to read it. I didn’t really put these in any particular order; they’re just in the order they came to mind.

So, without further adieu…

  1. Flying isn’t actually that bad. For years, I had an irrational fear of it, but it honestly doesn’t even feel like you’re moving.
  2. When you go through airport security, you have to take your belt off. Am I the only person who this makes uncomfortable? I can see the reasoning, and I know it should be the least of our worries now, but I’m not a fan.
  3. Tram lines and the metro (the subway for you folks in the states) are not that difficult to navigate once you get the hang of it.
  4. Prague truly has some of the best public transport in the world. Clean, efficient, and on time. All the time. I thought not driving a car would be very difficult for me over here, but that’s not the case at all. That’s not to say I don’t miss driving a car. I do.
  5. Czechs don’t like talking to each other on public transport. It’s bizarre for us Americans, who are often more willing to strike up a conversation.
  6. Masarykovo Nadrazi and Smichovske Nadrazi give me the jeepers. Keep your belongings close at hand.
  7. Why do they give me the jeepers, you ask? Czech people really like to come up to you if they need money or cigarettes.
  8. What’s easier to solve? A Rubik’s Cube or the Cerny Most metro station? I’m going with the Rubik’s Cube on that one.
  9. Prague’s ticket inspectors give me anxiety. Well, most things do, but them in particular. And I’ve had a ticket. Every single time.
  10. An easy mistake that could net the ticket inspectors several hundred crowns is failing to validate your ticket. Buy it and then stick it in the yellow machine. Don’t forget!
  11. For those who don’t prefer dealing with this, the selection of car manufacturers is somewhat limited. There are not too many American cars over here. Chevrolets and Dodges will be hard to come by.
  12. You need a public toilet? No problem? You need a public toilet but don’t have any cash on you? Big problem.
  13. There is a tower with babies (not real babies, but close enough) attached to it. It’s called the Zizkov TV Tower, once voted the second ugliest building in the world.
  14. Vaclav Havel (the last president of Czechoslovakia and the first one of the Czech Republic) will forever be a national hero.
  15. Most people I know do not like Andrej Babis, the current prime minister.
  16. On the other hand, Jaromir Jagr and Martina Navratilova are right up there with Havel. Icons.
  17. Aside from the few spots listed above, it is very safe. The 7th safest country in the world, according to the 2019 Global Peace Index.
  18. Most folks here actually do speak English. Enough English to at least order at McDonald’s. Watch out, though, if you go to a doctor’s office and try to speak English, they will get very annoyed.
  19. The calling code for the Czech Republic is +420. Who did this country tick off to be stuck with that one?
  20. During my first week here, I got lost in an area with no Wi-Fi and had to use data to pull up Google Maps. At the time, I still had my American phone number. Using data on an American phone number over here? Please do not do this (unless, of course, you don’t like having money). I learned the hard way.
  21. Every female’s last name ends in “ova.” A few end in “ska,” but mostly “ova.” Over here, they even throw it on to Americans’ names. For example, the other day I read an article about Melania Trumpova. I’ve also seen Michelle Obamova and Angela Merkelova. The female form for Bevevino would be kind of weird, wouldn’t it? Bevevinova? Or Bevevinoova? They don’t sound right.
  22. By far, the most common mistake I hear Czechs make when speaking English is the use of “some” as an article with singular, countable nouns. That is, if they even try to use an article at all.
  23. The Czech word for “please” is exactly the same as the Czech word for “you’re welcome.” #prosim
  24. The metro station “Chodov” is actually pronounced “Hodov” and it bothers me.
  25. The Czech language has a formal and an informal form. Maybe that’s why it’s so tough to learn?
  26. They love hockey over here. And badminton. No offense, guys, but I don’t see the appeal of the shuttlecock game.
  27. You know what really grinds my gears? When people over here tell you the cost of something as, “_______ Czech crowns.” Really? I could’ve sworn we were using Swedish crowns.
  28. The 20 crown coin is gold and the 10 crown coin is bronze. It took me a while to figure that one out.
  29. The vast majority of exchange places on the streets are ripoffs. Use Transferwise. You’re welcome for the free publicity, guys.
  30. Most of these exchange places do not accept coins of any kind. Take note.
  31. This country is extremely atheist.
  32. Czech food is AWFUL. Very meaty and heavy. It tastes weird. Not for me (except for roast duck, which is quite tasty). There’s also an obsession with pork.
  33. The good news? There are McDonald’s all over. Burger King. Pizza Hut. KFC. But no Taco Bell. Sadly.
  34. I also really miss random foods like Cheez-Its, Goldfish, Cheetos, Triscuits, and soda that actually tastes like soda. The lack of aspartame is a killer. Oh, and Tropicana Fruit Punch. Sorely missed. Although it doesn’t really matter as much because I gave up drinking anything other than water and milk. McDonald’s breakfast also is just not the same.
  35. I also miss diners. There are none over here. Travesty.
  36. Often times, you can walk into a restaurant/bar and take whichever table or place you would like. It’s not usually, “wait to be seated” like it is in America.
  37. When ordering water, the first thing they will ask is, “still or sparkling?” Still. All day.
  38. Beer is cheaper than water. Seriously. Facts.
  39. There are also beer spas. Yes, it’s exactly what you thought. They’re not for me because I don’t drink, but I can understand their appeal.
  40. Trdelnik is all the rage. If you don’t know what it is, look it up. Oh, and it’s not actually Czech.
  41. Czechs have an unhealthy desire for mushrooms. I like mushrooms with something, but separately? Eeeeek.
  42. Billa (a popular supermarket) over here makes you weigh your own fruits and vegetables. That’s too much work.
  43. The Czechs in general have an apathetic attitude toward customer service. If the line is getting long, they don’t open another one. You wait. If an employee is mean to you, the manager doesn’t care. Karens need not apply.
  44. Nearly every street corner in Prague has a potraviny, which I recently found out I’ve been pronouncing wrong the whole time. For you Americans, that’s a mini-market. And the people who run them always seem to be really unhappy with their lives.
  45. The metric system takes some getting used to. Kilometers instead of meters? Celsius instead of Fahrenheit? Ugh.
  46. TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) courses are really hard. Like, really, really hard. Super demanding. If you ever thought about signing up for one, I encourage it, but it’s no cakewalk.
  47. I’ve heard the word “elicit” more in the past year and a half than I did in the first 29 years of my life combined.
  48. It’s okay to not follow every thing your TEFL program taught you to a tee. Be your own person.
  49. I’ve met many people who decided to get TEFL-certified and then go back to the states. Others left teaching entirely.
  50. Teaching English online, especially to children, is difficult. Props and TPR, rinse and repeat.
  51. The whole “you must write a thank you note within 24 hours of a job interview” isn’t really a thing over here.
  52. I’ve met people from 32 different US states, plus the District of Columbia. I counted. Yes, I need a life.
  53. Besides Czechs and Americans, I’ve met people from places such as Canada, Mexico, Brazil, Chile, Great Britain, Norway, Finland, Estonia, Russia, Ukraine, Turkey, Bosnia, Slovakia, Germany, Austria, Hungary, Spain, France, Italy, Kazakhstan, China, Saudi Arabia, Kurdistan, South Korea, Ghana, Australia, and New Zealand. Totally random order, and I’m sure I left out a few. Apologies if I did.
  54. I never want to hear the word “visa” again unless I’m getting a free credit card in the mail.
  55. Speaking of the mail, the Ceska Posta. Don’t even get me started. You see, there are no mailboxes on streets over here, so even if you want to mail one simple letter, you have to go to a physical post office and deal with a clerk. The clerks speak about as much English as the chair I am sitting on. Not pleasant.
  56. You can deposit money to your bank account at the post office. With Equa Bank, a popular expat bank over here, it was the only way to deposit cash up until recently.
  57. As an American, it’s a [word that rhymes with ditch] to move flats (apartments for you Americans) over here. Not only is there the chore of moving, but you have to have the owner of the new building sign and notarize a paper and you then have to register with the Ministry of Interior. Yeah. Not fun. This is why some landlords only make their flats available to EU citizens.
  58. Most English teachers over here work on what’s called a Zivno. Basically, you’re a freelancer.
  59. Your employer automatically taking social taxes and health insurance out of your paycheck? Using a time clock? Ha! Here, people working on Zivnos have to do these things themselves. No help from the HR Department. You are the HR Department.
  60. On-time cancellations are the bane of my existence. You see, if a client (student or company) cancels their lesson more than 24 hours in advance, you don’t get paid. And here, you’re paid by the lesson. You don’t teach, you don’t earn.
  61. Real expenses and the 60/40 deduction are annoying come tax season. Made me want to jump into a river.
  62. I actually could have chosen the Elbe River to jump into. It actually flows through part of this country. I always had thought it was only in Germany.
  63. RegioJet and FlixBus have become my best friends. We’d be super tight if RegioJet’s complementary headphones actually worked.
  64. Karlovy Vary is the underrated tourist jewel. A beautiful spa town.
  65. Karlstejn Castle is quite a spectacle in person. That is, if you make all the way up there without dying.
  66. Speaking of climbing, I once hiked to the top of an extinct volcano. I didn’t think it was possible to do that.
  67. The Brandenburg Gate in Berlin looks even more stunning in person. When I saw it, I knew I had made it.
  68. In Budapest, they have an open-air spa on top of a building. The best invention in the history of the world.
  69. The Hungarian Forint and the Czech Crown are very similar in exchange rate. I learned that hard lesson when I accidentally ordered 4 McMuffins instead of 2 at the Budapest McDonald’s. I was using an American credit card…how would I know the difference?
  70. Speaking of McDonalds, the Mickie D’s in Vienna serves waffle fries. They win at life.
  71. Vienna also has baked mice donuts. It sounds gross, but I had one and lived to tell about it.
  72. Back to my earlier point on customer service, they really don’t like it in Spain when you go the wrong way through an empty checkout lane to get in just a little bit quicker. You will be yelled at. It won’t be in your language. And it won’t be fun. At least Spain has Taco Bell, so they can be forgiven, I guess.
  73. Thanksgiving is not celebrated over here. Not by Czechs, anyway.
  74. October 28 and November 17 are really important days to Czech people.
  75. Pumpkin carving is tougher than it looks. Especially for non-street smart people like me.
  76. At Easter, it is tradition for women to be spanked with a whip in order to keep their health, beauty, and fertility.
  77. Never go to a New Year’s Eve celebration in Wenceslas Square. Unless, of course, you want to be hearing impaired for the rest of your life.
  78. New Year’s Eve is not an actual state holiday. You don’t automatically get it off (last year, all my students cancelled anyway, but still, it’s mind-boggling.).
  79. Czech people have name days once a year. Fun fact: Mine is September 29.
  80. For those who know me, I’m a sports fan. I know a good rivalry when I see it. Red Sox-Yankees in baseball, Duke-North Carolina in basketball, Liverpool-Manchester United in soccer, Optimists-Doom and Gloom Army on the Prague Expats Coronavirus message board on Facebook, etc.
  81. I’m more of a germaphobe than I ever thought. Hand sanitizer? I’ve been buying it in bulk. Same with disinfectant spray. Never thought I’d buy these things as often as body wash.
  82. The Coronavirus has made me miss traveling and I’m mad at myself for not doing as much traveling as I could have before everything closed. You don’t know what you have until it’s gone.
  83. In the winter, the sun comes up at 8 a.m. and goes down at 4 p.m. I wish I had that short of a workday.
  84. But my workday, all things considered, is still pretty good. I think I can say I made the right decision coming here. It’s been invaluable for my personal and professional growth.
  85. I can make it on my own. Some days, it’s not easy and I wish I had family closer than 5,000 miles away, but I do it.

The first 500 days? The next 500? We’ll see what happens. If I’m still here come March 21, 2022, I’ll give you all a 1,000 days update. But for now, let’s live in the moment and take it one day at a time.

After all, I took this post one day at a time, and I still got it done quicker than Nevada does its vote counting!

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