At the beginning of 2021, one of my New Year’s resolutions was to make a “Good Days Scoreboard.” Essentially, I would keep track of the number of good days I had versus the number of bad days. If I had a good day, I’d remember everything I did that day and be more motivated to make it happen every day. If I had a bad day, I’d see what lessons I could learn and apply them so that the bad day wouldn’t be as likely to happen again. Winning streaks would give me a spring in my step. Losing streaks would give me a fire under my rear end.
I discussed the idea with some of my friends. One of my friends loved it and started doing it herself. On the other hand, a couple other friends called it “a terrible idea.”
But I was determined to at least give it a free trial.
And after what turned out to be a 100-day free trial, the verdict is in…
I don’t like it. I’m not buying the other 265 days.
The first reason is that I had no real criteria. What exactly defined a “good day?” A lot of days, I just did it based on how I felt at the end of the day. In retrospect, it might have been better to set a couple of goals for each day and have that determine which side of the scoreboard it would go on. You need a rubric to grade an essay–you can’t just put a number on there depending on if it feels right or not. Second, I was marking a lot of days as bad days for silly reasons. I distinctly remember days when a number of things went right, but I marked it as a bad day because someone didn’t return a text. I’d also often put a day on the bad side because I saw a social media post showing someone else living a better life than I was (or so I perceived it). Yes, this scoreboard actually made me compare myself to others, something I’m really trying hard to avoid. There were also times when I’d have four or five things legitimately go well and one thing went badly, but I’d the one bad thing consume me. Some bad days happened because of things I couldn’t control, like additional coronavirus restrictions being put into place.
Come to think of it, something like this might not be the best idea for someone with anxiety. I would have periods in which I had several bad days in a row, making me feel hopeless. Of course, the win streaks would be accompanied by the feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop. Even when things are great, people with anxiety fear that the bottom is about to fall out sooner rather than later. I have too many important things to do to waste time with that back-and-forth. Speaking of back-and-forth, I’d often debate for hours at the end of the day whether or not it was a good day. On many days, nothing really good happened, but nothing really bad happened, either. This created another gray area which forced it to become more stressful than it was actually worth. Perhaps it would have been worth putting a “neutral day” category in there? Meh…it’s water under the bridge now.
Clearly, I have my reasons for discontinuing this scoreboard. And we haven’t even gotten to the most important one yet.
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s all about perspective.
The coronavirus pandemic has taught me that any day when you can say you’re happy and healthy at the end of it is a good day.
Yes, I’ve had “bad days.” But my bad days are nothing compared to what many people are facing around the world. There are far too many overloaded hospitals with gravely ill COVID patients as exhausted medical personnel try to take care of them. We see families who will forever have an empty seat at the dinner table thanks to this pandemic. What about the countless hard workers who have lost their jobs due to COVID-related budget cuts? Honestly, COVID has not impacted me nearly as much as many others I know. I’m one of the lucky ones and certainly don’t take that for granted.
On a non-COVID note, there are starving children in war zones. There are homeless people who would kill to have the home I have or the clothes I wear.
I still have good health. And a place to live. Clothes on my back. Food and shelter.
And oh, yeah…a chance to live in a foreign country and immerse myself in another culture. I proved to myself and to others that I could make this work. COVID couldn’t take that away from me.
I understand that I have so much more than many others have. Every time I question whether or not I’m doing a good job, that’s what I come back to.
Life is much more than good days versus bad days. It’s about living life to the fullest and being the best version of yourself. We need to live good LIVES, not a collection of good days.
When you live a good life, the final score doesn’t matter.
Czeching Out the World of TEFL 