Who Am I? Who Are You?

Who am I?

If you asked me that question, it would probably take me a while to answer it. In fact, I’m not even sure I know how I’d answer it.

After thinking about it, I did a little experiment. Over the weekend, I posted a story to my Instagram and Facebook pages asking a simple question: What is the first word that comes to mind when you think of me? I also sent private messages to some people who I consider close friends. I did not ask any family members because they would offer too biased of a view and throw off the experiment.

This was not intended to be an ego-stroking endeavor, although some of the responses really made me smile and brightened up a time in my life that hasn’t been the easiest.

Before we get to the responses and what all of this means, let’s make sure we have a working definition of the word “identity.” Google states that it is “the fact of being who or what a person or thing is.” Fair enough.

It made me curious: What is my fact of being? Who is Michael Jude Bevevino?

To get warmed up, I wrote down ten words that I believe describe me. I later narrowed it down to five. The five that I chose were Christian, teacher, selfless, resilient, and courageous. The first two shouldn’t need an explanation. Selfless because I at least try to put others before myself. Resilient because I find ways to bounce back from losses in life. Courageous because I took this step of coming to Prague and changing my life forever.

Now, let’s see my five favorite words that others picked. Angel, kind (there were several different variations of this one, including kind-hearted and kindness), soft-hearted, non-judgmental, and quirky.

Wow. Quite the gamut there.

Let’s return to the main objective of this exercise. Again, it wasn’t to boost my ego or to make me feel better about myself. I wouldn’t have had selfless in my own top five if it had been. Instead, it was to help me answer that “Who Am I?” question. What is my identity?

Why couldn’t I just have answered that myself with my own words? After all, people have told me far too often that I care too much about what other people think. Yes, I’m a people pleaser. That’s a very small part of my identity I’m not proud of. And that’s why it didn’t make the cut for my own top five words. Anyway, my point is that when it comes to identity, your own view can easily become biased or clouded. You become so caught up in everyday life that you either don’t stop and think about it or you don’t give yourself enough credit. For people who struggle with anxiety, this is tenfold.

I like to think I’ve had a positive impact on others since I moved here, and seeing some of the responses to my “survey” (in my opinion, a far more productive and meaningful one than the preposterous census that’s currently happening in these parts) confirmed that. Your relationships with others and the way you make them feel can also help to mold your identity and give you a more powerful sense of self. So while you can’t allow others’ opinions to hold too much weight, getting some feedback about your strengths and weaknesses can be extremely helpful so you can become the best version of yourself. I ask for feedback from my students all the time and it’s helped me to become a better teacher. Speaking of which, does anyone else think that this exercise would make a great idea as a lesson or at least a warmer?

Why exactly is our identity important? We are more than just bodies taking up space or a number in the census. The parts that make us up, whether they are soft-hearted, angelic, quirky, or whatever, all come together to form a whole. If we just went with the basics like man, woman, good, bad, etc., that would be okay, but it wouldn’t be taking that deep look into your own personal and moral compasses. If you’re merely trying to be good enough, then perhaps you need to take another look at your own identity. Our identity is far more than a name on a residence permit. It is the experiences we’ve had, the challenges we’ve endured, and the person we want our future generations to be proud of. Know your identity. Embrace your identity.

Next time you feel like you’re simply a body taking up space, remember that you have value. There are feelings and emotions in this space. You are unique. You have a lot of things that define you, and these things can’t define just anybody. No one else is you and no one in the future can ever be you. The world would not be the same without you, and that’s the biggest thing I remind myself of when lessons don’t go well, I have an argument with a family member or friend, or on those days when anxiety just wins.

Now that I’m starting to sound like Dr. Seuss, it’s probably a good time to get back to the main question…

Who am I?

I’m Mike. I’m an selfless, resilient, courageous, angelic, kind, soft-hearted, non-judgmental, quirky Christian teacher.

Who are you? Perhaps most importantly, who do want to be? What do you want to define your identity for future generations? Do you want to embrace your identity and use it to make your world (and the world as a whole) a better place? Or do you just want to be another body taking up space or being counted in the Scitani? (Scitani is the Czech word for census.)

It’s up to you.

(Picture: Personal photo of the Lennon Wall in Prague. I thought it would be a good photo for this post because it’s a great example of a bunch of small things coming together to form a meaningful whole. John Lennon had quite an identity that others should strive to be proud of.)