The Importance of Being Yourself

Wow, my first post in over a month. I’ve certainly missed writing.

Obviously, I don’t have a lot of time these days, and I’ve been dealing with a bit of writer’s block. To be completely honest (more on being honest later), I’m exhausted on so many levels. Even typing this blog is tiring. Teaching has been taking more out of me than ever recently. But I’ve left you all waiting this long, so I need to come up with something, and I think I know just the right topic.

Today, I had a lesson not go as planned. The kids were not on their best behavior to say the least. One of those days. When class was over, I sat and stared aimlessly at the wall, wondering went wrong or if I need to change my classroom management strategies or if I need to just give up on teaching entirely.

Eventually, I decided. I was going to be super strict from now on. I wrote a post-it note and stuck it on my computer. It said: “Be mean. Nice Mike is gone.”

I left the note on my laptop for a short while. The plan sounded perfect, and I appreciated the alliteration in “Mean Mike.” At long last, I’d get my kids to sit down and shut up. I’d give off an aura that absolutely demanded respect.

It sounded great, that is, until I realized that I just couldn’t do it.

First, I all but burst out laughing in a later class during our Kahoot review of class rules when I saw I had made one of the choices “Mr. Mike turns into an alien.”

As tempting as it may be, it’s not in my nature to be mean. It’s not the way my parents raised me. Heck, I sleep with a stuffed frog at night (don’t judge).

I like to have fun and laugh out loud. Who doesn’t? And let’s face it, kids really don’t like the mean teacher. Ridiculing and shaming children doesn’t benefit anyone. As annoying as certain students can be some days, these are people’s children. They have feelings and emotions. They aren’t numbers or test scores.

These young humans look to their teachers to set an example. Losing your patience and blowing your top in the classroom–believe me, I’ve done it–sends a message to the students that they’ve won. It tells them that it’s OK to lose your cool in a stressful situation, which sends the wrong message to them when they face times of trouble later in life.

Being mean is not me. There’s an “M” and “E” in mean, but not an “I” or “K.”

I care too much about these children and about my career to let myself go and just be mean. Being mean would force me to be someone that I’m not. No job, no person, and no situation are worth that. Teaching is not a show that has Oscar-quality acting. Neither is life. You have to be genuine. If I’m having a good day, I want people to know. If I’m having a bad day, I still want people to know. Those of you who follow me on Instagram are well aware of that. After all, no one likes a phony.

I’d rather go down sticking to my morals than succeed by being someone I’m not. When someone asks you how you’re doing and you say you’re fine when you’re really not fine, you’re lying and doing a disservice to them. Twelve years of Catholic schooling taught me that lying is not OK. It’s OK to not be OK, and I can’t stand people who don’t feel that way. Personally, I’m much more likely to respect someone who is willing to tell me how they really feel. If I lose friends because of my approach, so be it. But if other people can’t enjoy the complete, unabridged version of you, then do you really want them in your life?

I have some critical decisions to make in the weeks and months ahead. Not only will I make sure that these decisions are what is best for me, I’ll also make sure that I can be myself and be happy with being myself in whatever I decide to do going forward. I’m at a bit of a crossroads right now, and the roads are only going to get longer if I’m trying to fit a round peg into a square hole.

Since you’re probably tired of hearing my drivel by now, let’s hear from the great Oscar Wilde instead.

“Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.”

There’s only one Michael Jude Bevevino in the world (my mother will be so happy to see me writing my full name) and he’s unique. He has strengths and weaknesses, feelings and emotions, likes and dislikes. He’s made it 32 1/2 years on this planet and has lived to tell about it. No other teacher is like him. No other person is like him. No other son, brother, uncle, nephew, or friend is like him. He’s Mike, a simple guy just trying to make a difference and make his family proud.

And the best way to do those things? Be yourself.