Dekuji, Babis

I have anxiety.

I’ve had it my whole life. I’m not afraid to admit it. I think it’s essential for people to be as open as possible about their mental health and advocate for those who deal with mental health problems. Our mental health is just as important as our physical health. It should never go unnoticed.

How does a person with anxiety cope during the time of coronavirus?

Good question. I wish I knew the answer.

In fact, for me it’s more questions than answers. These questions are not fun. For example, we’re not asking if a hot dog is a sandwich or if Die Hard is a Christmas movie. No offense to Joey Chestnut or Bruce Willis, but it’s time to be serious.

I basically like to divide my questions/concerns into three areas: personal short-term questions, personal long-term questions, and wide-ranging/societal concerns.

A topic with so many questions that it needs to be divvied up into three categories? Sheesh. Thanks, Trump….or, shall I say, dekuji, Babis?

First, the short-term personal questions: What if I get the coronavirus? What if someone in my circle (family, friends, roommates, students) gets it? What do I do? Well, quarantining for 10 days is no fun. Even though I can’t really do much anyway because of the restrictions here, I consider myself to be an independent person. I like structure. I like routines. I know what I want when I want it. And yeah, going out for walks is fun, too.

Here come more questions. I’m healthy now, and, God willing, it will remain that way. But what if, heaven forbid, the small grain of sand finds its way into my (or someone else’s) nose or mouth?

Who teaches my in-person classes? What if we have to cancel them and my schools and I are forced to take a financial hit, or, more importantly, a hit to our reputation? For online classes, what if I have to teach at less than 100 percent? Who buys my groceries and items from DM (no, not the kind of DM you slide into)?

Oh, yeah, there’s just one more teeny tiny, semi-important question:

Will I survive?

I’m 31 years old and relatively healthy, all things considered, so yes, I more than likely would.

But the coronavirus doesn’t care about how old you are. It’s not unprecedented for people my age to die or become very sick. It’s a terrifying thought. What if I wind up in the hospital, alone, in a foreign country, with Czech-speaking medical professionals giving me treatment that I can’t afford?

Yikes. Lots of questions. Questions leading to questions leading to more questions. NOW can you understand why this keeps me up at night?

I wish the questions ended there. But no, there’s a long way to go. Time now for the personal long-term questions. How will this affect my Prague experience going forward? Will I have to head back to the states earlier than I had hoped? Side note: I know some really good people who had to cut short their teaching abroad experiences due to COVID.

Will I have the financial resources to stick it out for months despite not having a full teaching schedule? Will I have the resiliency to keep going, even after rounds and rounds and rounds of restrictions? Seriously, it’s getting to the point where Babis, Prymula, and friends will ban breathing before long.

Would I be better off trying another country? Yes, it’s not an ideal time to uproot, but let’s face it, when it comes to Europe, literally everyone is doing better than the Czech Republic at the moment.

How long will it go on this way? Will my friendships be compromised if I have to go months without seeing people? What about my job? If employers continue to lose money in the months ahead, heads may start to roll. Will students and companies still be able to afford lessons if they lose business? When it comes to budgets, English lessons are a fairly easy thing to cut, unfortunately.

Businesses everywhere, even the ones I don’t deal with, are and will continue to be devastated. There are people out of jobs. Countless folks have it much worse than I do. At least I can still work, even if it’s not as much as I might like. All this talk about businesses leads me to our final category of interrogative statements: the wide-ranging/societal concerns.

What will the long-term ramifications be? Will things like masks and social distancing become the new normal? Is a third wave eventually going to come and cripple society again? When will the pandemic end? When will we have a vaccine? Will the numbers ever go down?

What if we go into another lockdown? Yes, I realize that the Czech Republic is essentially already in a lockdown, but it’s not a “full lockdown,” according to our leaders. Will the Czech government ever give a round of restrictions more than two days before throwing their hands up in the air, saying they didn’t work, and feeling the need to add more? Patience, guys. Patience.

How many businesses will have to close for good? How long will it be before Americans can visit Europe again? Will Prague ever have the same number of tourists it had before? Will this country lose so much money that it has to turn to a financial institution to be bailed out? Why did this country decide to be the Atlanta Falcons and get out to a big lead, celebrate too early, blow the lead, fall to last place, and fire the coach? Okay, so we haven’t fired our coach, just the health minister, but you get the point.

Speaking of coaches who need to be fired…in my home country, there’s a pretty important election going on in a few weeks. Will Trump be voted out because of his handling of the pandemic? I’m not going to get overly political, but yes, I believe he should be. What will a President Biden bring? How will he handle the pandemic and its long-term effects on America? Will he actually listen to Dr. Fauci?

What if Biden himself gets COVID? Ugh, I don’t even want to think about it.

No more questions, your honor. Finally, I got through them all. Whew.

You know, I usually hate dealing in hypotheticals. I like living in the present and crossing bridges when you come to them. However, this pandemic forces us all to have a different view of the world.

There are just so many questions without answers. And it may be a while before we get a number of those answers.

So what is there to do?

Personally, I’m going to make every effort to hang on and ride this thing out here in Prague. At the moment, my anxiety is at a record-high level, as evidenced by all the questions above. However, deep down, I’m hopeful that things will get better. Yes, I realize that it’s not likely to be any time soon. But one day, the restrictions will go away and the life experiences will continue. New lands will be visited. New friends will be made. New experiences will be had. I worked too hard to make this experience a reality. I’m not going to let coronavirus define it. I’m not going to let coronavirus be the end of my story here in Prague.

So there’s only one thing to do…sorry, Major League fans, it’s not win the whole (expletive) thing.

It’s vigilance.

Be vigilant of the rules and follow them, whether you like them or not. Make the most of your time here while still staying safe and keeping the virus from spreading. And yes, WEAR A MASK! You know who the real covidiots are? The people who wear a mask that does not cover their nose. You people are part of the problem. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

Stay safe, everyone. Prague friends, it will be a long road ahead, but we can get through it together. I’m only a call away if anyone ever needs anything. Seriously.

As for the folks in the states, I can tell you from experience: Don’t let your guard down.

Godspeed to all, and to all a good night!

(Photo: A picture I recently took during a trip to Cesky Krumlov. We sure could use a lot of divine intervention right now).